MOO 2: Coming Out
by Amanita Jackson
Summary: Month O' Oneshots 2! At 11:58pm! Everyone at Hogwarts is gay. We all know this. How do they all figure it out...? R&R. Slash, whoever you want it to be.


A/N: Funny story, this...I was playing spider solitaire at like 9:30 or 10pm, and I remembered I had yet to post. So I started and abandoned (for now) literally six stories. I gave up and went to go sleep. Suddenly, my muse kicked in. I had this halarious idea for the ending. I just needed context. So I came up with this. Because really, we all know that everyone at Hogwarts flies for the other team, if not both teams. ;) Hope you like it, I posted it just in time...

MOO: #2

Pairing: Pretty much whoever you like, hardly any names are mentioned. Yes, Voldie/Dumbledore mentioned. Yes, yes, I know, I know. Just read.

Rating: Definitely a solid PG-13. Suggestiveness abounds. Away you go, kiddies! Shoo, shoo!

Dedication: To the insane rabbit we're currently pet-sitting. God, how I hate you, you insane, vile, evil creature you. Why am I dedicating this to something I hate? Because I can.

Disclaimer: Hogwarts is not mine, Voldie is not mine, Gandy--er, _Dumbledore_ is not mine.

Warning: SLASH and elderly slash. For those of you disturbed by the former, you sadden me. Go away and save us both some irritation. For those of you disturbed by the latter, don't worry, it's meant in jest, and the entire rest of Hogwarts agrees with you.

* * *

In the boys' dorms of Gryffindor, there are secrets to be told. 

"Lads? I…I kinda have to tell you something," came the nervous voice from one of the beds in the dark.

"What is it?" asks another voice from another four-poster somewhere else in the darkness. It's easier to say things in the dark, because you can pretend no one's listening.

"Err…is it just you?" inquires the first voice, awkward. Stalling.

"Yeah, the other blokes are all asleep…what'd you want to say?"

"I'm…kinda…gay…" admits the first voice, hesitantly.

Silence. Shocked, unsure, UST so thick you could float on it. Will he or won't he? The Gryffindor bravery finally kicks in.

"Thank you, God," comes a muttered whisper, then footsteps make their way from one mattress to another. There are kissing noises, shy, hesitant. "Guess what?"

"What?" You can _hear_ the grin in the words.

"I am too."

* * *

In the girls' dorms of Gryffindor, there is gossip to be shared. 

"No, no, please don't tell them--!" a whisper cuts through the darkened room, plaintive, pleading. It's easier to share gossip in the dark because you can hide your own reactions.

All other chatter ceases. Silence, but for a pair of feet, perhaps two, padding across the floor.

"Ooh, what aren't you supposed to tell us?" This voice is eager, curious.

"Please, no, not _her…_" moans the first voice, so softly no one but the speaker can hear.

Silence again, expectant this time, broken by impatient shuffling.

"Well, go on luv, tell us."

A sigh, irritated and embarrassed. "I never should have told you." Stalling.

"Too late now." You can _hear_ the grin in the words. "Spill."

"I…I'm kinda…lezzy…" mumbles the first voice.

Silence. Shocked, unsure, UST so thick you could float on it. Will she or won't she? The famous Gryffindor bravery finally kicks in.

A thud as someone hits the floor, an 'oof' as someone else falls on top of them, nervous giggles as kissing noises start. The kissing noises rapidly replace the giggling.

"I'm glad, because I am too."

More giggling, quickly replaced.

* * *

In the Hufflepuff girls' dorms, there are feelings to be shared. 

"Did you ever feel like boys just aren't…right?" asks a voice, tentatively, trying the words like a new shirt that might or might not fit. The darkness swallows the words, it seems. It's easier to share feelings in the dark, because you can pretend they're not yours.

"You mean like, boys are always wrong about wanting more than you do?" says another voice, adding on.

"Yeah, but also like…boys just don't feel right when you kiss them or hug them or cuddle," continues the first voice, surer now.

"Well, what should they feel like?" comes the reply with an undertone of nervous laughter.

"Like, maybe, …girls?" concludes the first voice, quietly.

Silence. Unexpected, unfamiliar, UST so thick you could float on it. Will she or won't she? The Hufflepuff honesty finally kicks in.

"I'm…I like girls too…" answers the second voice, quietly.

A mattress creaks as its occupant leaves, feet pad across the floor, another mattress creaks as more weight is added.

There are a few kissing noises, but more often than not there are quiet murmurs and petting sounds and contented sighs.

* * *

In the Hufflepuff boys' dorms, there are confessions to be made. 

"I have kind of a confession to make…" starts a voice, wavering with embarrassment or nervousness or both, tapering off in the dark of the room. It's easier to make confessions in the darkness, because you can't see the consequences.

"What?"

"I…I'm…" the first voice continues, straining.

"Yeah, what? You didn't sneak out last night or anything, did you?" asks the other voice suspiciously.

"Well, I did, but that's not it--"

"You weren't visiting your girlfriend or anything, were you?" the second voice demands sharply, cutting the first voice off.

"I--"

"Yes or no?" asks the second voice, cutting the first one off again, quieter, sadder this time.

"No! That's it, that's what I wanted to tell you…I'm…well, gay…" the first voice mumbles, trailing off again.

Silence. Unexpected, unfamiliar, UST so thick you could float on it. Will he or won't he? The Hufflepuff honesty finally kicks in.

The sound of feet shuffling quickly across the room. A hitched breath, or maybe two. The sound of a soft, sweet kiss.

"Good, because…I…I think I am too…"

Silence, broken by the sound of more kissing and moans.

* * *

In the Ravenclaw boys' dorms, there are experiments to be done. 

"Come over here by me for a second," a voice insists. The soft slap of a hand to the floor echoes in the candlelit room. It's easier to experiment in the light, because you can see what the result is.

"Okay," a second voice says softly. The sound of feet across the floor. The quiet thud of someone sitting down. "What for?"

A louder thud as someone is knocked back and lands underneath someone else. Fervent kissing sounds. Not sloppy, not random, but regular, careful, precise. Approving moans.

Panting. "That settles it, then…" decides the first voice, slightly shaky. "I am definitely gay."

Silence. Wondering, curious, UST so thick you could float on it. Will he or won't he? The Ravenclaw brilliance finally kicks in.

More kisses, more moaning, then more panting.

"Judging by that…experiment…I think I am too."

* * *

In the Ravenclaw girls' dorms, there are theories to be tried. 

"I just don't like him very much," returns a voice, annoyed.

"You're a lesbian, aren't you," says a second voice accusingly across the lit space. It's easier to test theories in the light, because you can see how accurate they are.

"Wh--what are you--how did you know?" the first voice, flustered.

"I didn't. You just confirmed my guess," explains the second voice.

Thoughtful silence.

"I do like you, though…" the first voice adds, hopeful.

Silence. Wondering, curious, UST so thick you could float on it. Will she or won't she? The Ravenclaw brilliance finally kicks in.

The sound of someone being pushes against the mattress, heated kissing sounds, neat, orderly, regular. Panting in synch, tandem moans.

"I…am…too…" the second voice whispers, in time with the panting.

* * *

In the Slytherin girls' dorms, there are no words to be said. 

The sound of someone being shoved against a wall, kissing, moaning, squeaking, mewling, panting, stumbling footsteps to the bed, groaning, moaning, panting, squirming, kissing, sucking, biting, panting.

Silence, Knowing, hoping, UST so thick you could float on it. Will she or won't she? The Slytherin ambition quickly kicks in.

Mattress squeaking like a trapped mouse, two voices purring like the cats who cornered it.

* * *

In the Slytherin boys' dorms, there is nothing to say. 

The door creaks open, footsteps lead to a bed. They stop short.

Silence, Knowing, hoping, UST so thick you could float on it. Will he or won't he? The Slytherin ambition quickly kicks in.

There are six beds in this Slytherin dorm. Three are empty, cold silence blaring from behind the curtains rustling in the breeze. In the other three beds, the curtains shake for a very different reason.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement, eyes a-twinkle. 

"I hope you all had a wonderful Coming Out Day, although I did get a lot of complaints from the house elves about the state of the mattresses and bedding. It appears that half of the beds weren't slept in, and the other half--oh, excuse me, I do ramble." He beamed at the students, some of whom were blushing quite a lot.

"As I was saying, I have good news! Voldemort is no longer trying to take over the world or kill anyone or anything unproductive like that. He has come over to the side of good, thanks to diplomatic negotiations by myself."

There was much cheering. Someone called out, "What happened?"

Dumbledore beamed again. "Why, simple, my dear! Lord Voldemort and I shagged each other through the mattress the entire night!"

Silence. Disbelieving, disgusted, awkwardness so thick you could drown in it. Will they or won't they? The Hogwarts reflexes kick in.

Silence, broken only by the sound of hundreds of people simultaneously throwing up.

* * *

R&R! 


End file.
